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For quite some time, I’ve been keeping this one secret from my parents and it made my life harder than it ever was. To begin with, I grew up in a household that believed girls liked boys and boys liked girls. So, when I started to feel attracted to my best friend, I was unbelievably scared... Every time I looked at her smile or hugged her, I felt… Differently. I was totally crushing on her. It helped me realize that I’m BI.
Deep inside of me, I knew that being BI is part of who I am and it won’t change. But I was tired of lying to everyone and it was especially difficult to keep this secret from both of my parents. I knew it was time for coming out. But I was so scared, because black and Latin communities are super homophobic. And well… My family is both. Anyways, I was more worried about telling my mom than my dad because sometimes she says insensitive things about the LGBTQ+ community. Like when she was reading about a gay rights protest, she just blurted out: “They have all the rights they need, why can’t they just be happy with what they have?” That time I didn’t say nothing. What if she directed these mean comments at me?
But... A few weeks later, my mom and I were chilling under a blanket on the couch, watching TV. Suddenly, a commercial for Macy’s came on showing a happy family: two moms and their two kids jumping around on soft bed sheets. I noticed a quiet disapproval in my mom’s eyes. She said: “It feels like they’re everywhere nowadays.” Ironic, I thought. One of “them” is sitting right next to you. I was so afraid of what her reply to my next question will be, but I asked: “What if someone you loved was gay?” She looked at me, surprised: “Well, that’s their choice. I don’t support it, but I would love them regardless.” I knew it was the moment. I had to tell her… “Well, what if I was gay? Would you support me?” She looked at me, shocked: “Of course I’d support you. But, you’re not...?” I quickly cut her off: “I am… I’m BI, Mom...” We watched TV for a few more minutes in silence. Then my mom got up and went into her room. She didn’t say nothing. With a dreadful feeling in my throat, I did the same. I went to bed, pulled my blankets over my head and willed myself not to cry... The next day, my mom hardly spoke to me. We never brought up what happened and after a couple of days, my mom and I were back to joking around like usual. I felt relieved, because I was SO worried that my bisexuality would create a wedge between us.
After coming out to my mom, I felt more comfortable with myself. But my dad was still in the dark. It seemed that my dad didn’t hate gay people. Well, as far as I knew... One evening, I was over at his house. We were joking around as usual as we made homemade pizza. I reached out for some more cheese and my dad suddenly asked: “Are you really bi?” The question hit me like a blow to the stomach. Did my mom tell him??? I blinked, swallowed, and nodded: “Uh, yeah.” He looked at me, and then, with a barely contained laugh, he said, “Good, now I can tease you about that like I do everything else. And how are you single? If I were you, I’d have a girlfriend and a boyfriend!” I couldn’t believe it, he was totally okay with it! At the end of the night, he pulled me into his arms, gave me a hug, and told me he loved me. In bed that night, I cried tears of joy and relief...
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