I Hate My Father Because He Drinks And Threatens Us
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So I'm a 15-year-old girl with a 12-year-old brother. I love my brother and would do anything to protect him from our father. Because, well, my father drinks. A lot. He‘s been drinking for quite a while, I think even before I was born. Even when he‘s sober, he always talks about how he needs a beer. But sober or not, he‘s just not a good person. He threatens us and says horrible things.
I remember last May we were having dinner at a restaurant. We were talking about mental illnesses, and mainly depression. I was talking about how I wasn't happy quite often during that time, and he suggested that I kill myself! He said things like "If you're really not happy living, then what's the point? Just end it" and "Well, I suggest you choose the least messy way possible." My mother was there, and so was my brother. My mom didn‘t really do anything and it affected me greatly. I still think about what he said to this day.
My brother doesn‘t seem to remember the talk in the restaurant but it seems like he is finally realizing that our dad isn‘t the best. One time my dad said something rude so my brother flipped him off, and then he threatened to break his finger in a passive-aggressive way. Something like "Do that again, and I'll make sure you won't." To which my brother replied, "How?" And then I don't remember what exactly he said but the gist of what he said afterwards was "Yeah. Do that again and I'll break your finger." I stood up for my brother, of course, saying, "That's a bit of an overreaction, isn't it?" My brother silently thanked me once his back was turned. Now whenever the topic of my father comes up, my brother says "Oh, he‘s an a******" or something like that. I guess we comfort each other by talking about the way our father acts. I've tried talking to my mother about my father, her first reaction was "Well, he didn't have the best childhood. He didn't have a father figure to teach him how to act as a father." And when talking about the alcoholism, she says something like "Well, you know he doesn't drink at work". She always seems to find an excuse for his behavior. And I hate it. I really wish she saw things from my perspective. She always backs him up on whatever he does or says.
I know there‘s no hope for my father to change. Not long ago we were in a restaurant and before we left, he took a sip of whatever alcohol he was drinking and announced that "I know I have an alcohol problem, but I sure as hell don‘t plan on stopping it“.
Even though my father doesn't change and my mother doesn't do anything about it, I've learned to stand up for myself. And as long as I speak up and talk about it, I can cope with it.
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