I Did Dirty Things With My Teacher (I regret it now) | This is my story
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Hi, my name is Cassandra. It’s not my birth name. I changed it, but a lot had to change for me before I was able to live again without looking over my shoulder.
It all started when I got accepted into Psychology studies. I was over the moon. I was a shy kid. Kept my distance in school and looked at boys from afar. I wore a choker and everything black as my dyed hair. My parents pretended that I didn’t exist. Well, mostly my father. The only time he said anything to me was when he commented on the amount of makeup I wore. My mom was just plain silent. That’s about how my last high school years went – picked on in school, reading books, drowning in silence at home.
SO you can imagine how ecstatic I was when “the letter” came in. I was a bit afraid of how my parents would react to this news. I kind of didn’t tell them about applying to universities, because I was afraid of not being accepted. But I couldn’t have predicted their reaction in a million years.
So I just put the letter on the dinner table. My father looked at me intensely, then at my mom. She was a bit scared and just stared at him. SO I announced:
“I got in.”
My father put the napkin down and reached for the envelope. He looked at it and sighed. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled too.
“I thought you got some disease.”
I stopped smiling as he read out loud to my mother that I got a university grant.
A week later, I got the answer. Same as me, my father just put the envelope on the table and pushed it towards me.
“Me and your mom think it’s better for you to go to New York and find yourself. You will be better off than here in a small city. We expect you will survive.”
My mom’s eyes started to water.
I’d always dreamt of finally living alone, but somehow that didn’t feel so great. I guess my father didn’t utter it out loud, but we both understood that I was expected never to return. I guess their love was measured close to 10 grand and not a cent more.
SO that’s how I got to spend my first independent summer in New York City. I was ready to open a new chapter in my life. I got implants. It cost me dearly, but I loved it a lot. I found a remote entry-level administrative job in a logistics firm and a small place for rent. And off I was to explore the Big Apple. But I was also keen on tasting the forbidden fruit. Because it would be super strange to finally get a relationship therapist license and still be “without sin.”
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